Стр. 20 - Skurikhin_Communicative style

Упрощенная HTML-версия

Easy, right? Well, actually, no. Inviting a person for dinner can be one of the most
difficult things we have to do. For one thing, it may feel uncomfortably like flirting:
showing that you are romantically attracted to someone. And even if you are not flirting,
the other person may think you are. Or you may simply think that they think that you’re
flirting …and it all gets very complicated.
More generally, by inviting the other person the chance to spend more time with you, it
can be unpleasant for you if they turn down your invitation. They may even accept your
invitation in order not to hurt your feelings, even if they don’t want to spend time with
you. This fear of rejection, or worrying about forcing the other person to do something
they don’t want to do, can make it very difficult to make the invitation in the first place.
So what can you do about these problems? One good way to show that you are not
flirting is to invite several people at the same time, or at least to make it clear that the
person you are inviting may bring a friend. There’s an added bonus in this approach: the
conversation will flow more freely if there are three or four of you, rather than just
“dinner for two”.
One way of dealing with the fear of rejection is to phrase your invitation in such a way
that you can pretend later (even if only to yourself) that it wasn’t really an invitation. For
example, if you ask “What are you doing after this evening’s meeting?”, the other person
could respond “Nothing, really. I was thinking of going to a restaurant. What about
you?”. Note the use of past tense (“I was thinking”) – that’s a signal that they’re open to
ideas, and you should continue with a more specific invitation. If they answer with some
concrete plans (e.g. “I’m meeting up with some friends for a drink”), you can pretend all
along that you were really just making small talk, and you could turn the conversation
round to something else (“Oh, so you have friends here in the city?”). It’s also important
to signal that the other person can say no without being embarrassed. Something like “it’s
up to you” or “no pressure” is good for this.
Whatever you do, make sure you try at least. You’ll find it gets much easier with
practice, and you’ll end up with some great new business partners – and maybe some
good friends too.
SPEAKING. CONVERSATIONS
1)
Cut the worksheets (p.62) along the dotted lines to make sets of slips, which you
can hold together with a paper clip. You should have three sets of slips per pair.
2)
Put three conversations in order.
3)
When you finish this activity, underline useful phrases from the conversations
which they could use in real life.
FUNCTIONS AND PHRASES
Look at these examples of phrases for a range of social functions. The gapped
phrases all came from the dialogue. Without looking back at the dialogue, write one word
in each space. Then check by reading the dialogue again.
Asking about plans
Talking about your tentative plans
20